Archive for April, 2011

Woohooooo! Not only is it Friday but it is an absolutely beautiful day here in Boston, and I cannot be happier. The past few days have been on the warmer side temperature wise, so it has been quite refreshing to get an actual taste of Spring.. Summer will be here before I know it! Other than the warm weather (this is a given) – here are 3 more things I am lovin’ at this very moment:

1) Iced HONEY DEW Coffee:

Honey Dew or Dunkin Donuts?

I am definitely a coffee lover, especially iced coffee. Most people here in New England are all about the Dunkin Donuts coffee. Me?  Honey Dew coffee blows dunkin donuts coffee out of the water! I love Honey Dew iced coffee and all of their delicious flavors. They even have a pumpkin spice flavor, which is sugar free  (like all of their flavors)

Dunkin Donuts (whose flavors are also mostly sugar free flavors) pumpkin flavoring is like drinking a cup of pumpkin flavored sugar. Not cool.

The only complaint is that there are not nearly enough Honey Dew places – as opposed to DD’s where there literally is one at every corner! Luckily for me I do live near a couple of Honey Dew — so I don’t have to go into coffee withdrawal travel to far.

2) Not having to sell my body parts for Gas:

Now, I know pretty much everywhere in the US, the gas prices are seriously out of control. I mean it goes up a few cents like every other day around here. Every time I have to put gas in my car, I literally cringe. Of course, not driving would alleviate some of the gas issue but unfortunately I live in an area where I can’t walk or ride my bike to get my ish done. So, driving it is.

$ 3.84 PER GALLON?!?!

Not for this girl:

$ 3.19 per gallon - I'll take it.

Thanks to my Stop & Shop Gas Points!  Paying $3.19 per gallon is a lot better than paying almost 4 DOLLARS a gallon! I actually just started taking advantage of the Gas Points program this past year. Even though sometimes the stores prices are a bit on the higher side, the savings in gas is totally worth it.

3) This massive FRIED DOUGH:

Yes, that would be a large pizza box. And yes, that is a massive fried dough. (the picture really does not do this beauty justice)  We ordered take out from a local pizza place last night and I could not resist ordering the fried dough. I was sold when they said they make their own dough!  IT. WAS. AMAZEBALLS. It was so good that I “MMmmMMmm’d” my way through half of it. Yes, half. And I loved every bite of it. I probably would have just killed the whole thing if my belly had the room.

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What are you lovin’ at the moment?

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… gotta enjoy the weather while it is here!



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I am pretty sure that the majority of woman out there have been on one diet or another. I just read in one of my magazines that young girls as young as 8 years old are beginning to diet. That is pretty scary. Personally, I don’t think I actively tried to “diet” until late in high school (and even then it definitely was not a legit diet), as with the other girls in my age group (at my school).

However, living with a teenager has definitely opened up my eyes to the pressures that these young girls are faced with…

In the last 3 1/2 years that I have lived with a teenager (she will be 17 next week!), I have been privy to the fact that there are girls in her high school that diet, over-exercise, suffer from an eating disorder, and are overly concerned with how they look. She has told me that the majority of friends have something they want to change about their body. I have even watched her doubt her own beauty on a few occasions. Of course, I have done my best to talk her down from the ledge, reinforcing the fact that she is healthy and beautiful. I have explained to her about her metabolism and that dieting at her age (as she is still maturing) is pointless and can even be unhealthy for her. And, although I think I have done good job at supporting her without being to preachy, there is just one problem: I do not lead by example.

Both the BF and I watch what we eat (and the BF is actually currently on a diet himself) and although I know I do not need to lose any weight nor do I want to, I still eat my lavish pizza’s instead of the real thing with reduced fat cheese. I have sugar free syrup on my waffles, and substitute truvia and splenda for sugar. I am a user of “diet” soda for the soda stream and when I can, will choose the “lighter” option. So, how can I tell her not to worry about her weight when I seem (according to my actions) to be worried about mine? How can I explain to her that although I may look smaller (according to her) that she is much taller than I? I have adapted my eating over the years, and to be completely honest like what I eat now. I even like Fat Free Cheese. Yes, most think it’s the grossest thing on the planet but I like it. No lie.

And although I am actively trying to incorporate more unprocessed foods into my diet, I do still eat them. Years before when I was dieting, I started to eat “diet” food thinking that is what I was supposed to do. Of course, as I learned more and continue to do so, I realize that these diets foods are over-processed chemicals. But, they are chemicals that I like, and need to find real food substitutions for.

I do think that being a teenager now-a-days is a lot different than when I was and even more different than when the BF was. Even though I am only 10 years older than the BF’s daughter, it seems that we had high school experiences in different worlds. I did NOT care what I looked like back then. I wore pajamas daily to school, and woke up at the last possible moment to go to school. I wore makeup very rarely, and by makeup I mean eyeliner. It is a lot different in high school now… the girls walk around completely dressed up, donning complete outfits. Makeup is super heavy, always with really thick eyeshadow and of course the hair. Straightened or curled, it is clear that it at least took 20 mins (at the very least). Our teen takes a good hour to get ready for school. Thankfully however, we were blessed with a girl who, 98% of the time, has very high self-esteem. She has made it through almost three years high school, being confident (most of the time) and believing in herself. Yes, we are quite lucky…

Maybe I should be the one following from her example…

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Can you guess where I went by my title? I would hope so. Heh. Today was a pretty lame day and I have nothing of any value to write so I am just going to babble, probably because all the excitement happened in the wee hours of the morning…

Before Joe came into my life today, we had a snafu here at the homestead at about oh, 3:30 AM. Yes, 3:30 this morning our fire alarm went off in our townhouse. Now, when I tell you that the fire alarms at my complex are the loudest things I have EVER heard, I kid you not. It is deafening. At first, we thought it was our place that was responsible for the alarms. After running around like chickens with no heads for a good 10 minutes, we finally realized that it was our whole section (there are four townhouses in each section) that the alarms were blaring. Of course, the fire department came and had to break into the end unit. There was not even anyone home in the unit, so they had to break down the door. It was quite the scene and the alarms didn’t get shut off until 4:15 ish. Of course, the alarms started right when I feel asleep (I had major sleep issues last night) so I didn’t fall back asleep until 6:30 am. #firealarmfail

Oh, yea and there was no fire…

Needless to say, I was not feeling that great today. I was groggy and sluggish and even my workout didn’t pep me up like it usually does. I had quite a few errands I was supposed to run today, but only managed one: A trip to Trader Joes.

I was actually only searching for one thing: honey roasted sesame sticks. I am obsessed. But of course, once I deem obsessed about a certain item I can never find it. (Does this happen to anyone else?) I didn’t find my sticks, but I did find these babies:

Holy YUM.

Salty goodness at it’s finest. I also grabbed a bag of clementines – sadly I think our citrus here in New England is no longer at it’s peak season, boo. but on a positive note, I guess that just means berries and watermelon will be in my near future. Man I love me some watermelon. I wish I had some right now actually…

But I also wish I had some honey roasted sesame sticks.


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Being thankful

Did the Easter Bunny stop by your house? He stopped by mine and I was just as excited as I was when I was a little kid to see that he did!

But, I think my favorite Easter bunny surprise was this cute little Tinkerbell box. I love fairies, and especially Tinkerbell. Thankfully the “easter bunny” knows me – and knows me well!

Heh. I love it and usually get excited about things like this. Yes, I am very mature for my age as you can tell. Yesterday, the weather was perfect in the beginning of the day for our Easter celebrations. (I even busted out my flip flops for the first time this season) Our Easter was absolutely lovely, and perhaps we may have had a little tooo much fun! After spending the day with family, we ended up heading into the North End, Boston where we met up with our extended family aka our friends. We didn’t get home until 11pm! But, we had fun and the BF had the night off – double win (which he never has holidays off!) so we had to take advantage! *note to self: check weather and do not wear flip flops when it is supposed to rain*

**Edited to add: So I started this post about an hour ago, but my ADD kicked in and when I saw myself write flip flop, I was reminded to order myself new ones from OldNavy.com. But, then I went to the site and ended up seeing tees for the BF, and one thing led to another and now we are here about an hour later and 90 bucks poorer. Although, they are have a 20% off promo via online, and saving money is a #win**

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So, anyways. Getting to spend some time with my family yesterday really put me in a good place. It made me take a moment to be thankful for my relationships with them. Obviously, I made a lot of bad choices in my past, and in turn, hurt my family the most. It took a little bit of a time to work and repair my broken relationships. It was not easy, and actually was one of the hardest parts of sobriety. Actually having to feel and see the hurt (and care for that matter) that I had been causing my family was really hard. I had spend so much time trying to numb my feelings so when the time came, it was like an emotional overload. (I am going to post on this later) My point is that yesterday was just another point in my life where I was able to take a moment and be thankful. Thankful for my family, friends, and own little family here (including the “easter bunny”)

I think in this crazy life we get so caught up with everything that goes on, that we sometimes forget to just “be” in the moment and give thanks for everything we have.

I am going to work on that…


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Wowzers. How is it already Saturday? Sometimes I really don’t know where the time goes. Some days, I feel like time is going so slow… but then in the grand scheme of things, time is really flying by. Let alone being Saturday, how is it already the end of April? (Now if only mother nature would arrive to the party, because it is frickin’ freezing here and these “April Showers” are getting a little ridiculous) I took advantage of the rain, and headed out to Marshalls to see if I could find anything buried deep within the racks – and I had success! I found a couple of tops and a terry-cloth one piece for the summah!

I am excited to be able to spend some time with family tomorrow for Easter. Holidays mean a whole lot more as you get older, at least to me, because I don’t get to see my family as much I would like. So when the holidays do come, regardless of which one it is, I try and make it a point to get in some family time. Tomorrow ill head into the city to see my dad, and even get to see my neice and nephew (who are the cutest ever – Just sayin’) I am sure the Easter Bunny is all ready for his big plans too. Hopefully the rain will hold out for a little bit of the day, as it is supposed to be just as cold and rainy tomorrow as it was today. (But, I am super-duper excited because it supposedly going to get into the 70’s this week! Eeeeek! This makes me do a big ol’ happy dance)

Heh. Heh.

I am wishing everyone a very Happy Easter, or Happy Sunday, if that’s how you roll.

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1) The fact that it is Thursday… and that it is Easter this weekend. Hopefully the Easter bunny will stop by my house.

But hopefully not this Easter bunny...

2) My Sodastream. Seriously, this was by far the best second best Christmas present ever. (The first being my Keurig, of course)

3) These Kettle Tias! Ranch flavored tortilla chips. They remind me of Blue Doritos and yes, I love Blue Doritos. (Just not whats in em’) These are a great alternative, and aren’t that bad  stat wise – for a chip that is.

Pardon the ranch on my hand. I'm classy like that.

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Honestly, I am dragging a bit today. It was one of those days where I have been cold all day. Even at the gym, I was frickin freezing. It also didn’t help that my legs felt like they had cement blocks attached at the ends. But back to being cold… I am always cold. It kind of sucks. The poor BF has to battle with me all of the time about the heat. He is more of a 65 degree kind of person and I am more of a 70 degree kind of person (Yes, I realize the having the heat at 70 is a bit crazy) It also isn’t super sexy when I wear 3 layers to bed. In fact, I have 3 layers on right now: tank top, long sleeve shirt, and a hoodie. And the heat says 70 degrees. And, yes. I. Still. COLD. My BF calls my hands “death hands” – also not super sexy, in case you were wondering.

So, I am going to go climb underneath my many blankets and try to warm up a bit. And eat some more of those Blue Dorito wanna-be chips.

– Amy

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Today was a rainy, dreary day. I complain about the weather. A lot. I know this, and at least I am in not denial about my constant bitching complaining about the weather. But, when you wait for Spring after dealing with the crap winter we had here in the Northeast, and then Spring decide not to show up for the party – well it is a little disappointing. But, there really isn’t anything I can do about the cold weather now is there except pollute the earth and pray for “Global Warming”. Nope. Moving on…

Today was nothing special in Amy land. I got a cardio work out in, did some chores around the house including super fun stuff like laundry and dishes. Yup, fun stuff I tell ya. However during my puttering around (i love the word “puttering” btw) I also did a little thinking. The topic? My relationship with the scale. After reading quite a few posts about scale use –  (like on Trying to Heal and Meals and Moves) my mind got going and I started to think about my use of the scale…

I wish I could sit here and say that I am one of those people who have gotten rid of my scale and haven’t looked back. I wish I could say that I do not weigh myself, and that I don’t even own a scale. But, I can’t. I do own a scale and I do weigh myself. But, lets backtrack a bit…

When I was overweight I never, ever weighed myself. I never stepped on the scale, and the only time I found out how much I weighed was when the doctor weighed me. And it was during one of those doctors visits that the doctor told me I was overweight and needed to lose weight. (Although the funny part about this was that I was not even at my highest weight when I was told this; I was about 145 pounds at 5’4 – and I had already started actively trying to lose weight) It was when I actually did start trying to lose the pounds that the scale became a part of my life. At first, I welcomed the scale. I welcomed the feeling I got from seeing the number drop and drop. And even if it didn’t drop, I was still ok with that too. I was losing from 200 pounds, so being the “skinnier” me still seemed so far away for me. (I often wonder if it was this reason that when I was at a higher weight, it didn’t seem to matter if the number on the scale changed or not.) Unfortunately, my relationship with my scale eventually changed, and not for the better.

It was only when I started to enter 130’s that the scale actually started to matter to me. Of course, as my weight got lower the number on the scale began to stay the same and on some days even go up. Like many others, when I would step on the scale and the number went up (or even stayed the same) it took a toll on me. I would get down on myself, and beat myself up over it. I thought the fact I wasn’t losing I had initially meant that I was doing something wrong or not working hard enough. The scale affected me, regardless of I wanted it to or not.

It was around this time that I took my first nutrition class and this was also when reading healthy living blogs became a part of my life. I slowly started to gather more and more knowledge about health, nutrition, weight loss, etc. I learned about water weight and how many calories a pound of fat. Everything that I was learning pointed out the fact that my scale was a crappy unreliable weight loss tool. Regardless of all this, everything pointed out in front of me in black and white, I still couldn’t ditch the scale.

And, I still can’t. I have become dependent on this silly little tool of mine. It doesn’t determine my mood or any other aspect of my life for that matter, but I just can’t seem to rid my bathroom floor of it. In the last year, I have watched my weight go up and go down – on the scale. And even when the number was on the higher end of my “happy weight spectrum” I was still ok with that (albeit I made an effort to fit more comfortably into my jeans); it was more about just knowing.

I wonder if I will one day live scale free. I wonder if I can go “by just how my jeans fit” or measuring myself in another way. Maybe a part of me, the crazy-disordered me, thinks that if I get rid of my scale I will one day wake up right back to where I started. Maybe not. The point is I haven’t figured it out yet – and this ok.

Because every day I figure out a little bit more

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