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Anyone who has a spoken with me knows me, knows that I am a sarcastic person. I have even been granted the title of a ‘sarcasshole‘ from time to time.

Sarcasm is not telling someone they suck (that would be honesty). Having a comeback for everything said to you is also not sarcasm. For those who are new to earth would like a dose of wiki,

Sarcasm is defined as, “A cutting, often ironic, remark intended to wound. It is a form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.” 

See, right off the bat this definition bothers me. Why? Because it makes anyone who uses sarcasm out to be complete bitch (or jerk) and that really just is not the case (at least with me)  First off, sarcasm has to be used correctly. Secondly, I use sarcasm unknowingly sometimes. If it wasn’t for the BF (who has so nicely pointed it out here and there), I wouldn’t even know I was so freaking sarcastic to begin with. It was one of these “instances” of sarcasm that got me thinking… Is sarcasm a good or bad thing? My answer: Both. To back up my claim, I wanted to write a list of some of the pro’s and con’s of sarcasm. Just to make sure I am not always being a shithead

 

*Disclaimer: this is only my personal on  my own use of sarcasm – There is a good chance I have no idea what I am talking about*

Pros of Using Sarcasm Correctly:

  • Can be ‘witty, intelligent, and cool’
  • It can be humorous
  • You have to actually have half a brain to use sarcasm
  • You have to be able to think and react quickly
  • If you are surrounded by smart people, people will get your jokes
  • When turned inwardly, sarcasm can make another feel better about being a tool
  • Sarcasm keeps me sane

Cons of Sarcasm (or sarcasm used incorrectly):

  • Can be used to make fun of a person and hurt his or her feelings
  • Can make someone the butt of a joke (sometimes unknowingly)
  • Sarcasm can make a situation worse
  • If you are surrounded by idiots, no one will get your jokes
  • It can be too harsh
  • Can get you in trouble
  • If used wrong can be unwitty, unintelligent, and lame.

– – – – –

-Amy the Sarcasshole

Q. What is your opinion on sarcasm? Any pros or cons you would like to add to the list?

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About five years ago, when you mentioned the word Facebook to my Grandmother she probably would have asked me where the rash was and to put some hydro-cortisone cream on it. Now, good old Grandma is on Facebook. Yes, my grandmother, mother, aunt, and mailman  father. It seems that everyone and their mother has a Facebook.And here, people, is where my list starts with shit that annoys me about my Facebook…

Everybody Has One:

Like I mentioned above, everybody has a Facebook. My old teacher from high school ‘that kicked me out of his Geometry class because I told him Fuck Off’ has one, and what do you know we are friends. Suck. My aunt and grandmother are both friends of mine on Facebook so when I wake up from a night of drinking to see that I embarrassingly did the ultimate no-no and updated my status while tipsy, my whole family is there to see my shame. Awesome.

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Quizzes and Games:

The games on Facebook are definitely one of the most annoying aspects of Facebook. Farmville? Mafia Wars? Are you effing kidding me? Like I really have the time to sit there and play a computer game, let alone one on Facebook. Furthermore, do you really think I give a shit if you forgot to water your fake crops or that you just hypothetically blew some mafia guys head off via your dumb computer game? Nope I don’t. So stop telling me and please, please stop inviting me to play with you.

I can’t forgot to mention the annoying people that feel is necessary to crowd up my ‘recent updates’ walls with results from their “quiz” they just took. So let me guess this straight.. ‘you felt the need to know what “Mafia Wife” you most resembled before you went to bed? And then proceeded to take a quiz on what kind of handgun you are most like? Really? Here is some free advice for those people: get off your computer and go read a fucking book or something because obviously Facebook is killing your brain cells.’

—–

The Photo Tagger

I have a Facebook account and usually upload certain memories of our vacations, outings, memories, and such. I don’t tag other people in said photos unless they asked to be tagged. Why is this so hard for everyone else to understand. No, I don’t want you to tag me in a photo that I catches me in a bad position or makes me look like I just got run over by a bus. No, I don’t want you to keep tagging me, even after I untagged myself – twice. If I am out for a night on the town with my girlfriends, and I have a drink in my hand and I am dancing like the dancing queen I am on a chair please do not tag me. Thanks. Some photos are better left not seen by my grandmother.

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The Person who updates their facebook on EVERYTHING:

And by everything I mean evvvverrryyything. Like how many centimeters you are, while you are giving birth. Like how you caught a horrible stomach bug and you and have been shitting yourself to death for the last 24 hours. Seriosuly, do you really think anybody really wants to know any of your way-to-personal information.. no. Some things are way too TMI for Facebook (or just plain unnecessary). Other offenders of this are those who post their relationship break-up step by step via their updates and those that post the traffic (dude, I watch the news and I know the traffic thanks).

While I am on the subject of the asses who post way to much on their profile, I am going to go ahead and say it: posting ultrasound photos of your baby on your facebook is creepy. Please, stop.

The constant bitching and whining:

As I realize this list is getting a bit long and I have done nothing about bitch about Facebook; I am going to bitch about those bitch… on Facebook. Now, I am not talking about someone who randomly posts a complain, whine, or bitch.. I am talking about the Facebook friend (whom you don’t really want to be friends with anyways) who constantly bitches and complains about bad their life is. Every. Single. Status. is wah, wah, wah, my life sucks.. wah, wah, wah, I suck at life with FML thrown in there. I get that sometimes people have bad days but really… updating your status every 5 minutes bitching and complaining is just obnoxious.

and lastly,

The Creeper:

Everybody has one. You know, the person that seems to constantly be on Facebook, commenting and liking everybody’s status updates and wall posts quicker than you click on the home button. Or the creeper that leaves a comment on a photo that you uploaded like 2 years ago (wtf are you looking that far back into my photos for? Creep)

I get that some people have no life and spend way to much time on Facebook. And that is completely OK with me.. just don’t be a creepster about it.

edited to add:

The “People You May Know” feature or “Suggest Friends” feature

I can’t believe I almost forgot about this one. 99.9% percent of the time I have no freaking idea who Facebook tells me I “may know”. Am I the only one? Or when I do see someone I know on the right hand corner of my Facebook screen; chances are I do know them and I have either a) ignored their friend request or b) in no way want to be their friend and am praying that that they don’t request me.

The suggest friends feature is another annoyance of mine. Like I really want to spend an extra minute of my life suggesting friends for someone else. Half of the people on my Facebook I don’t even want to be friends with but also don’t want to seem like the as*hole on the block either.

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**EDITED TO ADD ON SEPTEMBER 23, 2011**

The “I bitch about every Facebook change”:

You know the ones… who every single time facebook changes something (regardless if it is a big or small change) they continuously serial post about the new changes “suck” and that they want “their old fb back”… um. See above photo please.

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I seemed to be stuck in a summer daydream today! I think that the not-so-like May weather is to blame. Usually May is beautiful here in Boston, but for some reason the April showers seem to be hovering. Every time I check the weather on my phone, there seems to be a chance of rain every. single. day. Gah! I am getting very impatient and I really just want summer to get here – and quick!

So while I wait for warmer weather to make an appearance, I been keeping myself busy shopping for Summer instead. Unfortunately, I am not too fashion savvy, but I have found a  few things that I absolutely love:

1) Flip Flops! Lots and lots of flip flops! Even though I already have way too many pairs, I have seen some super cute flip flops that I just had to have… and bonus: they were BOGO at Payless. Score!

2) Swim Suits – Another summer item that I may have a slight hoarder issue with. I have a lot of bathing suits. Like a real lot. I have 2 drawers that are completely devoted to storing my suits, and still not all of them fit. Regardless of this fact, I still had to grab a few new ones for this summer. One place that swimsuit dreams come true? Victoria’s Secret. Love the fact that you get bikini halter tops with more support for the girls!

3) Anything floral pattern, especially some of the cute sundresses that have come out this year. Sometimes I feel like I can’t pull off the pattern dress thing, but this summer I decided to take some chances. I am loving all the bright colored patterns too, especially since I am totally one of those people who will always choose the “safe” black or grey piece opposed to the bright colors!

What are your “must haves” this summer?

-Amy

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