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Posts Tagged ‘summer jokes’

Summer is by far my favorite time of year. Unlike most New Englanders, I actually LOVE the humidity and the 95 degree days. When Summer actually starts here in the Bean is up for debate. By the end of April, most of us are so miserable due to the winter that we usually ‘pretend’ the weather is summer-like. That is when things get sketchy: girls in booty shorts, flip flops worn in 50 degree weather, guys in cut off jean shorts circa 1990. You get the idea. And I would like to say that things get better here as the real summer weather approaches, but it doesn’t. It just gets worse…

Shit that is Annoying about People in the Summer:

1. Big Sunglasses

I am all for rocking out a pair of nice sunglasses, especially during the summer. A good pair of sunglasses can you from feeling drab to fab in minutes. That being said, sunglasses are just like any other thing you were: they need to ‘fit’ you. Sadly, a whole lot of people missed the memo on this one (men included) and both sexes are wearing some big-ass sunglasses this summer. Some of the sunglasses I have seen are absolutely, positively too big and look, well..  dumb. My feeling is that if your sunglasses literally take up half of your face, you may want to consider getting a smaller pair. Unless you have something to hide…

2.  Tanning

This has to split in two because it just that serious, clearly (thanks Jersey Shore)

Sunless Tanning:

I understand the spray tanning phenomenon, I really do. People are flocking to spray tanning salons because they aren’t really feeling the whole skin cancer thing. That’s cool. What is not cool, however, is all the people walking around looking like they just rolled around in a bag of Doritos. This whole “I am orange and my face and body look dirty” look I am just not understanding…

Extreme Tanning:

Personally, I like a summer glow. I don’t like walking around completely pale, and with a SPF 30 I can still get that summer glow without looking like a complete leather-face. However, I draw the line at those who spend their entire ‘tanning’. It is like the Snooki wanna-be’s are taking over the world..

I also don’t understand those that people I see at the pool and beach who are completely sunburned from head to toe (and still out in the sun) These smarty pants must the people that completely convince themselves that they are brown when they really are red… You know who I am talking about; everyone knows one.

3.  Unnecessary Skin Showing

Summer = warmer weather = less clothing. I get it. I really do. This is more about those that deem it necessary to walk around with their ass hanging out of their shorts/skirts. Or better yet, think I want to see them walking around in public in their two-sizes-too-small swim suit on (and nothing else) Please don’t get me wrong, I am all for embracing our bodies and rocking what our mama’s gave us but on the other side of that, I also feel it is important to know what works for us and what doesn’t and think that we should keep our bodies sacred and not walk around with everything hanging out all over the place…

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Summer is by far my favorite time of year. Unlike most New Englanders, I actually LOVE the humidity and the 95 degree days. When Summer actually starts here in the Bean is up for debate. By the end of April, most of us are so miserable due to the winter that we usually ‘pretend’ the weather is summer-like. That is when things get sketchy: girls in booty shorts, flip flops worn in 50 degree weather, guys in cut off jean shorts circa 1990. You get the idea. And I would like to say that things get better here as the real summer weather approaches, but it doesn’t. It just gets worse…

Shit that is Annoying about People in the Summer:

1. Big Sunglasses

I am all for rocking out a pair of nice sunglasses, especially during the summer. A good pair of sunglasses can you from feeling drab to fab in minutes. That being said, sunglasses are just like any other thing you were: they need to ‘fit’ you. Sadly, a whole lot of people missed the memo on this one (men included) and both sexes are wearing some big-ass sunglasses this summer. Some of the sunglasses I have seen are absolutely, positively too big and look, well..  dumb. My feeling is that if your sunglasses literally take up half of your face, you may want to consider getting a smaller pair. Unless you have something to hide…

2.  Tanning

This has to split in two because it just that serious, clearly (thanks Jersey Shore)

Sunless Tanning:

I understand the spray tanning phenomenon, I really do. People are flocking to spray tanning salons because they aren’t really feeling the whole skin cancer thing. That’s cool. What is not cool, however, is all the people walking around looking like they just rolled around in a bag of Doritos. This whole “I am orange and my face and body look dirty” look I am just not understanding…

Extreme Tanning:

Personally, I like a summer glow. I don’t like walking around completely pale, and with a SPF 30 I can still get that summer glow without looking like a complete leather-face. However, I draw the line at those who spend their entire ‘tanning’. It is like the Snooki wanna-be’s are taking over the world..

I also don’t understand those that people I see at the pool and beach who are completely sunburned from head to toe (and still out in the sun) These smarty pants must the people that completely convince themselves that they are brown when they really are red… You know who I am talking about; everyone knows one.

3.  Unnecessary Skin Showing

Summer = warmer weather = less clothing. I get it. I really do. This is more about those that deem it necessary to walk around with their ass hanging out of their shorts/skirts. Or better yet, think I want to see them walking around in public in their two-sizes-too-small swim suit on (and nothing else) Please don’t get me wrong, I am all for embracing our bodies and rocking what our mama’s gave us but on the other side of that, I also feel it is important to know what works for us and what doesn’t and think that we should keep our bodies sacred and not walk around with everything hanging out all over the place…

Read Full Post »